Household Finance, Canine Division
He found the emergency fund. It was delicious.
The envelope lived in the second drawer, behind the takeaway menus. At 7:14, one golden retriever opened negotiations with his nose. By 7:16, the household savings had become a light snack. He returned to the rug carrying one surviving bill, tail operating at full speed. No remorse was visible. He did, however, sit beautifully when asked and waited for the biscuit usually issued after excellent work.
Your savings were unattended, slightly papery, and clearly not load-bearing. I have secured the remaining evidence in my mouth, where nobody can possibly misplace it again. Please leave one biscuit beside the empty drawer before supper, and we can consider the matter professionally resolved.
The savings are safely inside.